Communicating With Millennials’

Having read my first article on this subject, one might assume that my views on managing Millennials’ is somewhat jaded.  Although this may be true, I am also a pragmatist and recognize that in this day and age and in many areas of the country, Millennials’ are the only available resource to recruit.  In fact one might quickly leap to the assumption that I believe that Millennials’ are sheltered, entitled, docile, delusional and emotionally fragile.  It is also the case, however, that with a proper understanding of the Millennial psyche, it is possible to employ them very productively.  Despite some widely misunderstood shortcomings, Millennials’ have many positive personality traits that can be employed effectively under properly controlled management conditions.

Positive Millennial Attributes:

1.      Short attentions spans
2.      Easily manipulated
3.      Inexpensive
4.      Easy to remove
5.      Versatile
6.      Easy to communicate with (given a few rules)

Let’s examine these traits one at a time to understand how best to harness them to achieve productivity.

Short Attention Spans

Millennials’ are accustomed to being constantly engaged and socially connected.  Millennials’ grew up in highly sheltered environments in which they were taught that every stranger is a potential kidnapper, serial killer or pedophile.  To a Millennial even a bicycle is an extremely hazardous recreational device that cannot be enjoyed without a helmet, spandex body uniform with neon stripes, lights, reflectors, side view helmet mirror, peddle cam and a prominently displayed “share the road” sign.  They are unaccustomed to going outside and entertaining themselves having never been exposed to recess or team sports in school.  Despite their relatively sedentary lifestyles Millennials’ are accustomed to consuming large amounts of caffeine in the form of Starbucks Latte’s, energy drinks and highly processed foods.  As a consequence, Millennials’ are literally and figuratively constantly wired.  Although they may sense that something is wrong they may have been taught to believe that their constant state of unease is the result of “Attention Deficit Disorder”.

There are several benefits to this condition that a manager of Millennials’ can employ to great effect.   It is possible to give them many small well defined tasks to work on at once, or to frequently move them from one task to another.  While employees from an earlier generation may experience rapidly changing work conditions as stressful, Millennials’ quickly grow bored if they are expected to focus on a single monolithic task for protracted periods of time.  A good manager of Millennials’ knows that work should be broken into many small tasks and distributed relatively randomly among Millennial employees.  There is even a formal project management paradigm that Millennial managers are encouraged to adopt called “Agile” in which teams of Millennials’ are given the impression of autonomous self-management by a “scrum master” who has been highly trained to pretend not to be in charge or “leading” them in any way while constantly encouraging them to interact in a safe group environment where they can feel socially connected and anonymous at the same time.  Agile is the ultimate “Millennial” project management system optimized for spraying Millennials’ with a constant stream of random, narrowly defined immediate tasks.

Easily manipulated

Millennials’ were raised by media and public school systems.  Everything they believe, they think they learned for themselves by watching media, surfing the internet or being spoon fed by highly solicitous non-judgmental teachers.  Millennials’ are not accustomed to being told that they are “wrong”, “mistaken”, “misinformed” or other pejorative terms suggesting a lack of knowledge.  The wise manager of Millennials’ will know to avoid ever challenging or questioning a Millennials’ “knowledge” of any subject.  Doing so will often result in an emotional meltdown or anonymous Internet posting tantrum about you or the company.

Never “tell” a Millennial that they have anything to learn, simply recognize that if they see a message or lesson presented in a familiar media format they will believe it.  For example;

WRONG APPROACH:

Manager:  “We have a new database system that you will need to master; I’ve signed you up for a series of training courses on it.”

Millennial:  “I am already an expert on database systems having taken a course on them in college and written a SQL query to update the weather widget in my blog.  I have no need for further redundant training on the subject.”

CORRECT APPROACH:

Step 1:  Anonymously post several job openings on LinkedIn for a database expert at a hot new database startup that requires expertise in the new system.  (Millennials’ are perpetually surfing and applying for new jobs)

Step 2:  Post a series of YouTube lessons on the system.  Hire a Chinese click fraud firm to hit it several thousand times and post comments about how “cool” it is and how “everybody” is learning it.

Step 3:  Send out an email to your department informing employees that you are adopting a 10 year old, antiquated database solution.

Step 4:  Nod sympathetically when enraged Millennials’ storm your office to express their frustration with how backwards and out of date the company is.  Ask for their input on an alternative database solution.  When they suggest the correct one, scowl and complain; “but nobody here is familiar with THAT system”

Mission accomplished…

*Note any wise manager of Millennials’ will be connected by all familiar social channels to their Millennial employees and have at least five fake Millennial “friends” in their network who are clearly cool and well informed that can be used to post “influential” messages to your employees.  Also own 3 -4 disposable cell phones with area codes in NY or California to “accidentally” text personal but influential messages to your Millennial employees, such as;  “Hey Jules, thx for the great link but it was already forwarded to me like 20 times today.  I’m sure EVERYBODY has seen it at this point!”

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